The Media Mad Scientist

I was Googl’ing this morning – quite busy, actually searching for information – and came across the deadly web No No’s. It was a little surprising. I thought the No No’s were eradicated, but apparently they still afflict several existing websites that are fully operational and functioning. Its been listed before, and said a million times, but I will once again return to this list so there is no confusion … and hopefully those No No propagators read this and turn from their evil ways.

No No #1: NO Flash Intros

Don’t do it. They were once clever. New. Interesting. Now they are an impediment to your information. Weird. Clunky. Horrible for your SEO. There is literally NO content on a main page dedicated to the intro. And even if you skip this, and bypass to a pop-up intro, it is still remarkably dated. Exceptions? Sure. If you’re questioning it, you’re probably not the exception

and the other No No’s…

NO blinking text, weird cursors with trails, goofy fonts, or other silly games.

NO broken links off your primary navigation bar. NO BROKEN LINKS EVER, but certainly not off your main menu.

NO under construction. I’m seeing it, so it’s constructed. Pop some content on there ASAP. Generic content is better than no content, and any content is better than under construction. Please, web designers, explain this to your clients.

NO design flaws that create complications for navigating your site or accessing your site’s content. Navigation panes that only are visible on mouseover? Is this really the best idea? We need to design sites as if we were visiting them.

NO missing your call to action completely. If you’re a community site, include community information and restate your particular community. If you’re in product sales, how do I purchase the product?

Just as a general rule, proofread.

I buy magazines for the ads. My take on art: the artist’s personal propaganda campaign. Aesthetics is too important in communications, and the reason behind its importance is the sheer impact of marketing any message. I see marketing everywhere.

As for tactics, practices, and cleverness, guerrilla marketing and customer service are recently married. When you call for tech support, and the representative asks if you need any assistance with your X, but you currently only have a Y. You’re freaking out. Did they put X on my bill? How much is X? Should I have X? Next week, you call and add X to your list of services. He wasn’t upselling. He was suggesting you needed assistance with something you didn’t have, and you are curious as to why you don’t have it. He usually has a great response – sound scripted? indeed – regarding the add on cost or the value of the “missing” product.

It’s guerrilla because it plays on your existing knowledge of customer service screw ups. Billing incidents and errors. All sorts of horrific daily interactions. It’s unfortunate that we accept these types of errors as consumers so openly that the customer service industry is willing to sacrifice strength and confidence for a quick sell.

Another simple example: Caller ID in the customer service industry is beautiful. Mrs. Smith, how can I assist you today? Instant relationship. They know you.

Some fun ways to twist customer service:

How did you hear about us?

Most customers know that if they can mention a publication or ad they may receive a discount or bonus offer. Offer a word of mouth deal instead. We want to give you a percentage discount just for listening to your friends and family.

Change the scripted hold jibber jabber

It says the same things everytime: all of our representatives blah blah blah. What if instead of putting marketing messages in this space, you actually pre-assist the customer. We’re currently on the line with other broken gizmos. Please ensure your gizmo has been revampified by following these steps…

My computer glows like a Christmas tree. I should hang some ornaments along the sides. My latest PC creation is only one in a line of exaggerated monsters I build - it looks like a gamer’s dream, but the desktop icons are software gateways to “boring” graphics and video editing programs.

I expect it to receive a large amount of attention, glowing and whizzing in the corner. I keep it elevated for airflow purposes, and I secretly enjoy showing it off.

It’s more than disheartening when a client enters my office and asks me about my crayons.

They ask me first about my crayons? Well, despite how wonderful it is to be a digital scientist, I map my visions analog style. I take out a piece of paper, and yes, I color.

I suppose mature artists spend money on the materials, and likewise I spent my money on my computer – my material. Now before you go suggesting I buy a Wacom tablet, I would like to say that there is nothing in the world that can replace a crayon. It’s more than returning to your childhood creativity roots. It’s more than the freedom of empty white printer paper and colorful, easy tools. It’s the activity. It’s the physical reality of a creative moment.

They refuse to allow coloring in most workplaces, and this is probably why most people ask about my crayons.  I’m going to start entering businesses – especially places where marketing and creativity are preached as tantamount to profits – and ask about the crayons.

Tomorrow, go buy your department or office a pack of crayolas. At first it will seem silly, until the creativity actually happens, and then the $2 pack will start to make sense.

When I finished the new blog, and considered the direction of the post categories, I added the category “Profit Alchemy” hoping to set aside a significant chunk of time to consider the whole marketing profitability analysis issue. Just how do I prove I’m turning all the coal to gold? It’s not a small hurdle. It’s a gigantic hill. Uphill.

When I had positive results – quantitative, hard results – it was easy. However, not every strategy’s result is neat and clear. I wanted to throw out all the academia on the issue. You know, perceived value  and customer value. Burn all the graphs and pie charts. Completely dispel any lingering bad ideas on the subject, too. For instance, the necessity of paying boatloads to survey your clients, or the misunderstandings surrounding what social media has become to marketing departments.

Small business. Your brand is weak. Your competition is relatively high, and if it isn’t, then your product is somewhat obscure. You spend 9% - 12% of your profits on marketing. Why? Well, you have no choice. If you’re conservative and spend less, you’re fearful you should be spending more and you’re missing profit opportunities due to cheapness. If you spend more, it’s not sustainable in the long-term.  

But no one - I mean no one – wants to be told to do “this” no matter what without a why. I’ll be tackling the data analysis & reporting issues in the future to answer the why. For now, just trust me when I say there’s gold over the hill.

Reading Facebook Insights isn’t difficult, but applying the Insights to your marketing strategy can be technical. I’m  writing a white paper on optimizing Facebook analysis, and I’ll release it by December 2011. Until then, in doing my research (because I don’t want to repeat what is already out there) I stumbled across this article from Intel’s social media strategist —-> http://mashable.com/2010/09/03/facebook-insights-guide/

I especially agree with some of the tips throughout on keeping data records in addition to the Insights. This is important if you wish to evaluate your particular strategies, because Facebook doesn’t really track your social media marketing campaigns - when you initiate and the results from those booms.

Some things in the article are generic. For example, I’m never a fan of demographic data. Conventional? Yes. Limiting? Yes.

It helps to know your audience, but we’re in a marketing landscape that provides for “special interest” targeting. Focus is important. Do you want to reach male generation X’ers because male generation X’ers are your target, or do you want to reach everyone who likes watching action films because there is a strange connection between the genre and your product. Reach ALL the genders & generations! This is a trite example, but the point is clear.

However, ignore nothing. Look at the demographic data still … you never know.

I’m also looking for more information on Insights. If you know a great article or existing white paper, send it over to me!

Flashback: It was not so long ago that I made a suggestion to a client that we utilize my contacts in the game development industry & mobile app creator friends to create an indie game themed for their industry, fun to play and marketed towards mobile app users. What better way to market a brand than by making a fun, viral, free game? Of course, I naturally suggested we take advantage of the Indie Games arm of Xbox 360 Live. Everyone uses social networking, but not everyone markets via gaming.

I’m an avid gamer.  At the time, I was also developing a “quick win” puzzle game to kick off  my media company’s mobile applications development program. BTW, I still recommend unique strategies such as game development, if you have the resources. Well, *especially* if you have the resources because it’s rare and unique.

Today: If you’re not an avid gamer, and you don’t read the tech news daily, you might not have heard that Xbox is scheduled to unveil the Xbox Next console at E3 2013. The future holds many new possibilities in technology – and this buzz had me thinking about the last Xbox console release – the 360.

What did Xbox 360 herald? Incredible changes in digital home media, small business media marketing and it started a whirlwind of independent development. It’s my predication the next release will have the same incredible impact on the mediascape.

I’m excited to announce the meteor shower + social web promotions have a common bond. Am I stretching the situation to get a moment to discuss Saturday’s sky extravaganza? You bet!

It’s no secret that I’m a huge science geek, and I eagerly await The Orionids show each year. Now that I’ve relocated to the clean skies of the country, I have an amazing front row seat to everything the universe has to offer. There are fantastic opportunities here for astrophotography. There are several adapters on the market that transform your average telescope into a space camera!  I’m hoping that my fellow neighbors in the countryside take advantage of an artform that my previous neighbors in New York had to travel long distances to perform. But I digress.

The meteor shower happened to spark the interest of more than a few geeks like me – it made the Google search trend chart. People were actively searching for information on the meteor shower. Working this event into your social media marketing scheme - and any current event that sparks active interest – is a unique way to boost your visibility & your timeliness, even obscure current events like the meteor shower. In fact, off topic current events add a level of interest to your business.

So next time the sky falls, market your business to all the science geeks out there!

It’s Throwback Thursday! Well, I mean #throwbackthursday. I guess it should be no surprise since it was a trending topic last Thursday, too.

And on Monday, it will be #musicmonday again.

Take advantage of the Twitter realm and incorporate your brand into these day-of-the-week tweet events. Or build team spirit and make it an office party. If you haven’t already, you should encourage active social media web employees to move your company brand through Twitter via hashtags and @mentions.